For Bella
by I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms
Summary: Edward's thought's while Bella is asleep in the hospital. Take's place before chapter 24 An Impasse in Twilight. Hope you enjoy. Oneshot in honor of Robert Pattinson's 23rd birthday.I changed my penname from tommys21 to I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms


Hello fanfiction land. This is my first oneshot. I wrote it in honor of Robert Pattinson's 23rd birthday. It's not the best but I tried. It take's place before Bella wakes up in chapter 24 An Impasse. Review please no flames please. Anyway happy birthday to Rob I hope you have a good . Oh and this story is all in Edward's P.O.V.

Disclaimer: I own nothing owns Twilight. But if she would like to surrender rights to me I'd be happy to take them. And if Bella would like to surrender Edward to me I'd be happy to take him too. LOL.

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Edward's P.O.V.

As I sat watching the love of my life laying in her hospital bed her breathing slow and steady telling me she's deep asleep. I can only hope she's in no pain.

How could Bella go after him?

Why couldn't she just wait for me?

Why didn't Alice see this until it was almost too late?

I asked myself these questions but no answers came.

"Why couldn't you just wait love? Why?" I whispered to her knowing she was sedated and could not answer me.

I sat in the chair next to my love. Sitting on the bedside table next to Bella's bed was a letter that Bella wrote to me. A goodbye letter.

Every since Alice gave it to me I have been staring at it. Should I read it? She's here and alive.

_"Barely."_ I thought bitterly. Should I read what could have been her last word's to me?

Apart of me said no she's here forget the letter and be happy she's still with you.

But another part of me has to know what she said. Did Bella blame me for not being there to protect her?

Does she regret ever meeting me? Regret loving me?

With those thought's I had to know can Bella love me? Does she forgive me?

I picked up the letter that was sitting the table. I paused before I opened it and preparing myself.

(A/n The following is the letter wrote to Edward from Bella in chapter 21 of Twilight Phone Call so everything belongs to .)

_I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very ,very sorry. Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get way from it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please. _

_And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think._

_I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me._

_I love you. Forgive me._

_Bella._

I couldn't believe it. Bella went after him so no one had to be hurt because of her. _"So you didn't get hurt."_ A voice said deep inside of me.

How could this angel care about me?

I'm a monster. Who could kill her just by touching her. Hugging her.

But my Bella the danger magnet doesn't care.

I couldn't kill her even if I tried. She always says.

But if she only knew how hard it was to control my thirst for her blood.

That when I sucked the venom from her blood stream that the monster with in had no intention of stopping.

Bella's blood tasted better then any others I've ever had.

But I had to stop.

Not only for the sake of my family.

For Carlisle who built this life for us so we didn't have to be monsters.

For my sister who would not only lose a bestfriend but a sister.

Or for myself I could not lose the only reason for my existence. Just to finally give in to my bloodlust. To release the monster that had gone 70 years without human blood. I had held myself back these last few months. Letting the love I have for Bella overpower the thirst.

But I had to stop for her.

For if I hadn't I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist.(A/n I wonder where that line came from? Lol don't own)

If I where to have killed her it would have killed me.

But I stopped. For Bella. I remembered our time together in the meadow, the first time I watched her sleep and she said my name. And it was enough.

Now I just have to wait for her to wake up.

It would be a few more days Alice said before Bella would open her eyes.

And I'll be sitting right here waiting.

Waiting days for her to wake up.

And months to heal.

But I wont leave Bella's side. Even if I should to protect her but I can't.

Call me selfish. I know I should leave her be to live her life the way she would if I wasn't in it.

College, marriage, and one day kids. Something I can't give her.

But I just cant leave.

Unless Bella asks me to I wont leave her. _"Or if it becomes to dangerous for me to be around her."_ something inside me said. And I had a feeling something would go wrong and I would lose her. But with everything in me I would at all cost stop that from happening.

I leaned down and gentle kissed Bella's forehead.

"Sleep well my love." I whispered before I began humming her lullaby.

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A/n Well there it is sorry it's not that good. But I hope you liked it and will leave a review.

Thanks for reading. And don't forget to leave some love for Rob's birthday.


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